Tag: marriage

We Need to Talk (Part One)

Ephesians 5:22-33

This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church (5:32 NIV).

The Biblical passage from which we begin this series is often used to talk about the marital relationship between a husband and a wife. Clearly, it does provide crucial teaching on the sharing of life between the two partners in the marriage covenant. But there is more to these words than the relationship of two humans. Their union is a picture of the greater union of the Lord Jesus Christ and his people. Christ is the husband and the church is his bride. As a man and a woman share life in their marital union, so Christ and his people share life. Marriage is about knowing a person and being known by that same person. Our eternal life with God is about personal knowledge (John 17:3) And knowledge involves communication. So, in this series think of Christ saying to his dearly loved bride, “We need to talk.”

Now on the human side of things, when a man or a woman says to their spouse, “We need to talk,” it is because there is a problem of some kind. Some might be small and others very serious. When one says this phrase, the other might begin to think, “Now what have I done,” and “how can I defend myself?” To ease into this, imagine that a married couple is a party. The husband tells a joke of some sort, that he assumes is simply funny and harmless. But the next thing he knows, his wife comes up to his side and whispers in his ear, “Dear, we need to talk.” Immediately, by her tone, the husband knows he is in trouble! And he is ignorant, and thinking, “Oh no, what did I do or say now?”

In that situation, the husband is probably guilty of some social faux pas. However, we the church are united to the Lord of glory, who is all-wise and never makes mistakes, even when we fail to comprehend his ways. On the other hand, we commit many sins and errors, which require our repentance and faith in his grace to restore our fellowship with him.

For our constant benefit, the Lord Jesus talks to his church through the living Word of God. We don’t need to find a time to talk with him in a busy schedule, which can be difficult for married couples in the busyness of our fast-paced lives. His words are always available, and we can always talk with him (prayer).

This series does not directly speak to the issue of reading the Bible and prayer. A discussion about the latter usually turns into a guilt trip (hardly anyone prays like we all know we should), an excessive concentration on the physical and financial needs of others (who prays for spiritual matters?), or a mystical quest (there are many forms of mysticism in prayer that have little or no connection with the Bible). Dare I even mention attempting to get “Bible believing” Christians involved in reading the Bible regularly? I think it would be easier to encourage believers to wade waist deep through a horrifically smelling swamp for a year than to read the Bible daily for three months! We have a serious problem with distraction or disinterest or disillusionment when it comes to reading God’s word in a consistent manner. Do you think I’m joking? All right… Read First Thessalonians every day for a month. The Spirit might use it to change your life.

Instead, I want to think with you about teachings of the Scriptures that the Lord wants us to pay attention to, as he talks with his dearly loved bride, the church. Christ says to us, “We need to talk;” that is, we need to listen to him about our relationship with him, our worship, our fears, our pride, our lack of passion, our brotherly love, and our need for wisdom. May God our Father give us hearts to listen and grace to change!

Grace and peace, David

Greater Kindness, Part Two

IMG_2638Ruth 3:10-18

In our previous article, we saw that Boaz’ kindness toward Ruth involved acceptance of her. His kindness did more, and he gave her assurance. Boaz told her not to be afraid. He wanted her to know that her bold request had not turned him off or turned him against her. He didn’t push her away as some Moabite “gold-digger” or as a trashy woman. This would do much to calm her heart. On one level, we all need to think about how others might be feeling, the nature of their concerns and fears, when they request our help. People can feel vulnerable and fearful of being taken advantage of in their weakness. Jesus assures people of his kindness when he invites us to draw near to him. Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28). Right now, you can call on the Lord to rescue you from sin, guilt and condemnation. “Come” is his great word of acceptance!

Boaz promised to marry her and to be her kinsman- redeemer. “I will do all you ask.” Can you see the joy on her face as he said these words? This was a big step for Boaz to take, and though he did not know it, it was a significant action in the true story of God’s glory in Christ. How often God has had his story work out through choices of people. Your life is important. If you ask Jesus to forgive your sins of refusing God’s love, rejecting who God is, and rebelling against God’s way, he will do all you ask—and more! You will become part of his people and his story that leads to glory in eternity.

Boaz commended her. She was a woman of noble character (cf. Proverbs 31:10-31) or more literally, “a woman of strength”. She had strong character traits. He said that she was a good match for him, since he was known as a “man of standing” (cf. 2:1). His generosity in being willing to marry a poor widow was matched by Ruth’s generosity to marry Boaz out of kindness. When two people marry, they should marry with a vision of what they want to accomplish through their partnership. “If we join together as husband and wife, by God’s grace we can glorify the Lord together in these ways.” You should marry to make a better contribution in the story of God’s glory than you could make single. If that wasn’t your vision when you married, it ought to be starting right now. Get together with your spouse and think through how God can work through your marriage partnership. What combination of gifts and skills do you have that can be used together to bring others to the Lord?

His kindness led Boaz to strengthen her with affirmation. He committed himself to her, as much as he lawfully could at that moment. But Boaz had to present a potential problem. There was another kinsman who was a closer relation, and he had the first right to redeem. Boaz could not act out of turn (cf. Leviticus 25:48-49; Numbers 27:8-11). This may have been why Boaz had not suggested anything previously. He could not interfere with another man’s rights. It might also be the reason for Naomi’s bold plan. She had simply waited long enough for the other guy to act as a redeemer, and so she forced the issue. Yet Boaz must do everything in a legal manner. He is willing to accept the Lord’s will (“good”), if the other man chooses to redeem her.

But Boaz wanted Ruth to know his deep concern for her, so he made a promise with an oath to marry and redeem her, if the other man would not. Since we live in the new covenant, Jesus directs us simply to tell the truth (Matthew 5:37) without making oaths. We all ought to be people of integrity. But in an age of falsehood, we need to grow in honesty and truthfulness. This can be part of our worship of our God.

Grace and peace, David

The Tragic Outcome of the Uncertain Journey

IMG_1017Ruth 1:3-5

We again look at a small family, who left the Promised Land of God’s old covenant people to seek an easier life. It wasn’t a far departure, but it was unnecessary and away from the people and worship of the true and living God. (Remember that under the old covenant, worship of God was closely connected with the place God had chosen for the tabernacle or temple.) What happened to that family?

First, Elimelech died. We must be cautious here, because the Holy Spirit does not say that his death was due to being in Moab or because he failed to return to the Promised Land. Physical suffering and death may come for a variety of reasons. You can be living for God’s glory and still suffer or die. But for Naomi, this was a great tragedy, regardless of its cause. For a woman in ancient times, like Naomi, the death of her husband had serious financial consequences. Most women had no job they could fall back on, and there was no insurance or social security or welfare system. A widow basically had three options: to return to her parent’s home (if she could), to beg, or to become a prostitute. In addition, Naomi and her sons are resident aliens, away from family and the people of God. All that Naomi can depend on, in a worldly sense, is support from her two sons.

Second, Mahlon and Kilion married Moabite women, Ruth and Orpah. This is to be expected in the circumstances. Young people tend to make friends and fall in love with available companions of the opposite sex. If there are not godly people available, they will be guided by mere physical and emotional attraction. Marriage to anyone from a Canaanite people group was forbidden by the law (Deuteronomy 7:1-4). Although Moabites were not Canaanites, the Lord restricted them from entering the congregation of his people, even for ten generations (Deuteronomy 23:3-6). Later in the time of Ezra and Nehemiah, intermarriage with Moabites was considered to be a cause of guilt before the Lord (Ezra 9:1-2; Nehemiah 13:1-3). The Lord wanted his people separate from those who worshiped idols.  How much influence Naomi had over her sons at this point is unclear. Please do not blame either parents or children for the choices that the other generation makes! Parents and children are alike responsible to God for their choices. And do not expect God to bail you out of unwise marital choices! For every Ruth, there is also an Orpah. Now Naomi has to deal with the complications of having Moabite daughters-in-law. Seemingly, they got along well, and everything appears to be viable for Naomi.

Third, Naomi’s sons die by the time they had been in Moab for ten years. Again, the text does not say that her sons were being punished for sin. But it is a reminder that death can strike younger adults. Two of my best friends died around the age of thirty. Seek the Lord while you are young! Now Naomi is left without any provision in a foreign country. Picture her grief and fear as she stands beside three graves. Her hopelessness is accentuated in the story by not mentioning her name. In the Hebrew text (cf. ESV, NASV), she is now simply “the woman”; she has lost her family and with it her identity.

What hope was there for Naomi at this point? Was there any? She was living as a resident alien among an ungodly people and without the protection that God and his law covenant provided for the widow. Had this rushing river of tragedy proved that God has abandoned her? Before you rush to give a “spiritual sounding answer”, please stop and feel the horror of her situation! The Bible seems too good to some people, because they fail to read it as a story of real life. However, the story is filled with many stories of suffering and hardship for even the best of believers. Stop and read thoughtfully. Yet, the good news is that God calls wandering people back to him, regardless of the reasons and ways of their wandering. If you feel “alone in Moab” like Naomi, God welcomes you back home through his one and only Son, Jesus Christ. He says, “Come home! Find friendship and joy with me and my people!” This good news can be yours today. Don’t let pride hinder you. Return to the true and living God today.

Grace and peace, David